Posted 6 months ago
Posted 6 months ago

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

I have a really hot waiter.

Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.

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wanna know what these all say?

"suck his dick"

(Source: racingbarakarts)

Posted 6 months ago

hannah-sollux:

darning-socks:

"you’ll get ink poisoning"

haha funny thing is, its actually impossible to get ink poisoning this way. the only way to get sick with ink is to eat around 16 pens full of ink to even be slighty harmful

Posted 6 months ago

Reblog if you’re shorter than 5’8.

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(Source: missmerchantt)

Posted 6 months ago
Posted 6 months ago

REBLOG IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOME ANONS IN YOUR INBOX

(Source: captain-mantas)

Posted 6 months ago

My dad ran into an old friend of his today, and they were catching up...

  1. Friend: "So how's your daughter doing?"
  2. Dad: "Great! She's in college now, and she's doing really well. We're really proud of her."
  3. Friend: "What's she studying?"
  4. Dad: "Political Science."
  5. Friend: "And does she have a boyfriend?"
  6. Dad: "Actually, she came out as gay several years ago."
  7. Friend: "You know that's... UNNATURAL... right??"
  8. Dad: "No, I don't think so, actually. My daughter's sexual orientation is a biological reality. It makes biological sense to me. You know what doesn't make biological sense? Her damned cat walks on a leash. A LEASH. Just trots along on a leash like a damned dog. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. THAT is what's unnatural."
  9. Best dad ever
Posted 6 months ago

colour-bucket:

runforfreetherapy:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY FANDOMS STARTING NOW, LIKE THE SINK FANDOM AND THE TREEHOUSE FANDOM AND THE BLANKET FORT FANDOM, BUT YOU ARE ALL MISSING ONE. 

SECRET image

FREAKIN’

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ROOMS

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LIKE

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PEOPLE

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BUILD ROOMS

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WITHIN ROOMS

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BUT THEY AREN’T LIMITED TO INSIDE THE HOME

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THAT’S RIGHT

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THERE ARE SECRET ROOMS FOR CARS

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HONESTLY THOUGH

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YOU EITHER LIKE SECRET ROOMS

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OR YOU’RE WRONG

invite someone over to play hide and seek

Posted 6 months ago

twirlingroses:

assguardingallday:

mynameisgrey:

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I’M NOT EVEN IN THIS FANDOM AND I’M REBLOGGING THIS

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN THE WHOLE TIME I HAVE EVER BEEN ON TUMBLR. BLESS YOU.

(Source: punkchan)

Posted 6 months ago

sonicsboom:

seeing someone cool online but being too afraid to talk to them because you think you are too dumb